Control
by hollyhobbit101
Summary: The knife clatters to the table in front of him, and when all the dots connect, Sam's out of his chair so fast he barely knows he's moved. Tag to 13x02, The Rising Son


**A/N: I would have posted this sooner but I've been distracted over fuming at Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith for evicting Liam from the Bake Off tent. Now there's someone who deserved better.**

 **WARNING for discussion of self harm**

* * *

The knife clatters to the table in front of him and Sam almost spills coffee all over Dad's journal as he jumps. Dean is stood over him, an ugly glare twisting his features.

"There's your third sign," he growls, stabbing a finger at the knife. Sam looks at him, nonplussed, but he just sighs, shakes his head, and leaves.

Everything happened so fast that it takes Sam a second to wrap his head around it all. When the still wet blood and Dean's bitter statement finally connect together, he's out of his seat and in the hallway before he really knows he's moved.

"Dean!" he yells, but his brother is gone, so Sam turns and races down the corridor to Jack's room. Logically, he knows that the blade wouldn't have done anything to him, but his brain is a mess of thoughts flying every which way right now so that particular fact escapes him briefly. He skids a little when he arrives, just managing to catch himself on the doorframe. He's not sure what he's expecting - Jack bleeding out on the floor, shattered lightbulbs and mirrors, bloodstains on the walls - but it's certainly not Jack curled up on the carpet with his head buried in his hands, shoulders shaking.

"Jack?" he asks softly. He approaches slowly, not wanting to scare the kid, and stops a foot or so away. He crouches down so he's on Jack's level and reaches out to gently lay a hand on his shoulder. The second he makes contact, however, Jack spins to face him. His red-rimmed eyes are glowing with golden anguish and his hair is falling limply across his face. Sam moves backwards and holds his hands out reassuringly.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay, take it easy," he murmurs quickly, trying to calm Jack because he can _feel_ it. He can feel the raw power coming from him in waves of hopelessness and despair, and it almost knocks him off his feet.

Eventually, Jack's eyes dull back to their usual brown and he looks down at the carpet. Sam dares to move closer again, and is rewarded when Jack doesn't flinch away or throw him back with his powers. He makes sure not to touch him though; he can see that might only make things worse.

"Jack?" he whispers again. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Jack doesn't say anything, but he uncurls himself and folds his hands carefully in his lap, eyes still downturned. Sam's attention is immediately drawn to the dozen or so holes in his t-shirt, and the blood staining the white fabric. He reaches out reflexively, but catches himself just in time, barely managing to conceal his horror.

"Did Dean do this?"

Jack slowly raises his head to meet Sam's eyes. "No," he says eventually. "I did."

* * *

It takes a few seconds for the implications of Jack's words to hit him, but when they do it feels like all the wind has been knocked out of him. He could have dealt with Dean trying to kill Jack because he's been (possibly unjustly) anticipating it since they brought Jack to the Bunker. It would have taken some doing, but he'd have dealt with it. This though... This is a whole new can of worms that Sam desperately wishes had never been opened.

"Jack, you... Why?" he stutters, still unable to form full sentences.

"I was scared. Of what I might do."

"But surely you knew that knife wouldn't do anything to you."

Jack just shrugs. "I needed to see if I could control it."

"Not like that you didn't. We can help teach you-"

"How?" Jack demands, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. "How could you teach me?"

Sam swallows thickly. "Because I've been in your position," he says quietly. Jack frowns a little, questions forming on his tongue, but Sam interrupts before he can ask them. "Well, not exactly," he clarifies. "I used to have powers, too, and they scared the hell out of me. I didn't know how to use them and they were difficult to control at first. But I learned."

"What could you do?" Jack asks curiously.

"I could move things with my mind, kind of like you, I could exorcise demons, and then later I was able to kill them."

"Kill them?" Jack says, alarmed.

"Just the demon," Sam quickly clarifies. "The people they were possessing were usually already dead."

"Oh."

A beat.

Then, "So you never hurt anyone?"

Sam hesitates. He doesn't want to convince Jack that he'll hurt people more, but he also needs to be honest with him. He takes a shaky breath and wipes a hand over his mouth. "Actually... I ended up hurting a lot of people. The person who taught me lied to me and made me think that using my powers to stop someone would save the world. But it was all just a trick. I did everything she said, and I started the apocalypse. But we won't let that happen to you," he says, seeing the alarm grow on Jack's face.

"How do you know?"

"Because I believe in you, Jack. You saved us earlier, when Asmodeus was trying to trick you into opening Hell. He would have killed us if it wasn't for you. Now, I can't speak for Dean, but what you did tells me that you want to be good."

"I... do," Jack says uncertainly.

"Good. And you can be, Jack. You just need to let us help you down that path."

"You really believe you can teach me?" Jack asks, and Sam isn't sure but he thinks he sees a little hope in his eyes.

"I do. And you know who else did? Your mom. I've, er, I've actually got something to show you, just sit tight for a minute while I get it."

* * *

Jack's still sat exactly where Sam left him when he returns to the room. He frowns in confusion as Sam sets up his laptop in front of him and his fingers hover over the keys, unsure of what to do.

"I'm gonna let you do this on your own," Sam says. "Just press this button here when you're ready." He indicates one of the keys and gets up. Jack looks up, still confused, but nods a thank you before turning back to the screen. He doesn't do anything though, so Sam decides to leave.

"I'll be in my room if you need me," he says, then walks out the room. As he turns away, he hears Jack click the video, and Kelly's words follow him down the hall.

 _Hi Jack. It's, er... I'm your mom._

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you guys liked that! Please leave a review if you have a moment. Bye!**


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